maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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