Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she told me i tasted like america
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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