Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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