and you said cock pushups were impossible
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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