She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
