my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize