i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize