gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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