And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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