clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
