There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
