He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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