spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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