She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
