I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
