That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
