u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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