The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
