Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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