And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
