My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
