At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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