I wish I could punch you in the face.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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