She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
