what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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