I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
