Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
