My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Randomize
