I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
dude. I can hear the air.
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