Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
