Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
