We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
4 words: hood of his car
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?