Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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