I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
you inspire me to be a worse person
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..