My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
