I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
