Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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