yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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