Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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