It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
