it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
