thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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