This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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