I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
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I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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