I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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