I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
