I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
