Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
