i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
