Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
