I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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