I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
