come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
