I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
this will be a night to untag.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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