just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is Oprah even human
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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