Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
