PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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