U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
