what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
