Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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