No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
