wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
