12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
3 2 1 whiskey
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
