We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
