You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I wish there were birth control emojis
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
