Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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